Becoming New

September 1…  The beginning of a new month is a huge blessing.  It’s my favorite season of the year.  I love feeling the cooler temps, watching the leaves begin to change, shedding themselves in the hopes of becoming new again in the Spring.  Fall brings with it some simple, but powerful life lessons.

We all have the power to become new again.  Parts of us may crumble and shed, but we can re-emerge better than ever in the Spring.

I’ve thought a lot about this process recently, as the puzzle pieces of my life are coming back together.  Two years ago I decided to explore some different passions in my heart and to let some of the dead leaves fall.  It was a tough time for me at the beginning, and it required a lot of prayer, stillness and hope.  Hope for Spring to come again.  Hope for the Lord to continue to place His call and His hand on my heart and on my life.

I felt so much shame at the beginning of that period. I realized that the shame that was circling in my heart, I was pushing down to others.  I was part of the cycle. What an ugly way to live.  I’ve dug deeply into Dr. Brene Brown’s work on shame over these months. She describes shame this way,

“Shame is that warm feeling that washes over us, making us feel small, flawed, and never good enough.  Shame is basically the fear of being unloveable.”

Well, I had just about had enough of that.

I watched the transformation – from hurt, sadness and confusion – to peace, acceptance, love – to excitement and joy.  These past couple of years, I was able to find me again.  The me that was lost in all of the other stuff – the drive to move forward, the comparisons, the acceptance…  I found my way back to love.  God placed me right where He wanted me in this last year, and despite the fact that I was not meant to permanently put my foot in the cement, the love I was shown and the growth I experienced, I would not trade for the world.

It’s been so neat to see how every step in this journey has been for good in our lives.  Every day was not easy, but most of the days were fun and joyful.  There are days that I feel sadness over some things that were lost during my transition, specifically friendships, but then I rejoice at the God-loving individuals that He placed in my path to show me what truth in friendship really is.  Lord, you always know better than we do!

So September…  Here we are again…  Waiting for those crisp evenings, sweatshirts, pumpkins and fires…  Waiting to rake the leaves into big piles in the yard & jump in.

I’m throwing up the leaves of old at the same time I’m watching the buds form into something new.  I’m anxious to have freedom in my days and more time with my kids.  I’m ready to be fully present into the passion that God placed on my heart over 8 years ago.  Spreading the message of prevention is a huge deal to me and I don’t take the call lightly.

I’ve also picked this blog back up – to share and spread hope with you.

I hope you can find wisdom where you question what to let fall with the leaves this September.  I hope you can find hope in Jesus, knowing that His plans for you are great. The journey is not perfect.  The days can be hard.

You have to search for the joy and let the leaves fall.



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